Most of us like to keep the past in the past, especially when it involves someone we thought we’d never see again.
But one mother has recently experienced a ‘reunion’ of the worst kind, facing the sight of a man who 15 years ago committed a crime against her… and is now a school parent.
“He came in, kicked my dog, took my keys”
Writing to an advice column, the distraught woman says:
“15 years ago, a drunk man broke into my house in the middle of the night, kicked my dog, took my keys and tried to steal my car before being caught by my then-boyfriend.”
The police managed to catch the man. The woman adds that although she was not injured, the event left her upset and terrified.
“Days later, my boyfriend and I broke up, I left the house and I was never contacted by anyone about the charges or the continuation of the case.”
And now, more than a decade later, the woman sees the man, apparently with his child, arrive at the same kindergarten orientation she attends with her preschooler.
Admitting that she hadn’t thought about the incident in years, it was still a disturbing and unexpected moment. Now, she is not sure how to handle things.
“I doubt he knows me, as he only saw me once, in the dark, when he was very drunk 15 years ago.
“But how do I handle future interactions with him, since the kids will likely be in school together for the next 13 years?”
The woman’s main concern is that the children will one day sort things out on their own – as online articles about the case cite their names.
She finally asks if she should be up front with everyone now.
“Uncomfortable PTA meetings in my future”
The woman captioned her post, “Unpleasant PTA meetings in my future,” which downplays the absolutely outrageous story.
Even the person answering her says, “That means, excuse my language, going crazy.”
In fact, it’s the first line of her advice, followed by a sincere apology for the woman’s experience.
Acknowledging that “This encounter will cause a lot of emotions for you,” she adds, “This man will not recognize you, and it is even possible that he has completely changed his life and may want to make amends with you. “
But she also advises to stay safe, taking a friend with you if approached and not confronting him at the school gates. She suggests an email asking for coffee to discuss a personal matter and meeting in public.
“Your goal is not an apology, but a mutual acknowledgment of the past incident. . . . He may respond with anger and be afraid of telling the other parents.”
But that’s only if she really feels compelled to reach out. Otherwise, it is not her responsibility to do anything for the sake of the children.
What she needs to do, however, is address her “mental health and peace of mind” regarding regular contact with “this horrible part of your past.”
“I would go into denial mode”
We asked a few baby pot readers and fellow parents how they would react to this situation.
One admitted she would say: “I would go into denial mode every time I saw it and pretend it wasn’t there.”
Another claimed: “I couldn’t trust myself to keep it a secret in the long run, so I better come out now.”
A third parent questioned whether the man didn’t know her, saying, “He would have gotten her name from a police report and would have probably Googled her at some point.”
Finally, there was this worried response: “I’ve seen too many true crimes not to suspect how he suddenly enrolled his child in the same kindergarten. I would take care, sister.
“Especially if he’s the kind of person who steps on a dog, drunk or not.”
#mother #shocked #man #entered #home #years #school #child
Image Source : nypost.com